


Memories

by marvelousrats



Series: Cowboy AU [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Arson, Cowboy AU, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Smut, M/M, Memories, Racism, Reunions, Soft Jetko is my kink, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Smellerbee, Zuko says respect trans ppl or die by my sword, and they were sparring partners, be gay do crimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelousrats/pseuds/marvelousrats
Summary: As the Freedom Fighters ride back up to their home in the Rockies, Zuko reminisces on his past mistakes and how he ended up in a rouge group of outlaws.
Relationships: Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Longshot/Smellerbee (Avatar)
Series: Cowboy AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812082
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	1. Slot Canyons are a good spot for a sword fight

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, all.  
> I fucking LOVE this AU and I will keep writing it as long as it inspires me :-)  
> This is fun, spicey, and a lil bit angsty.  
> Go follow me on  
> Check out my Tumblr [tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/marvelousrats) for some cool art about this au by yours truly.  
> Or you can follow me on instagram @ thepoormediocreartist for even more art :-)  
> Also I’m always a slut for a comments, even if you just want to tell me my writing sucks or whatever.

_“What can I get you.” Zuko looked up at the man standing at the counter. The man smirked at him, dark hair fell into his soft brown eyes. His orange shirt was unbuttoned scandalously low, revealing some fading scars and bruises. “Hi,” Zuko whispered._

_“Hey, darlin, can I get a cup of lavender tea, and two cups of jasmine.” The smirk managed to slide further across his face._

_“Y-yeah, of course.” Zuko nodded. “That’ll be a quarter.” He looked at the counter and hoped the man thought it was to check the money was good and not to hide the blush that was creeping across his undamaged cheek. He chewed the inside his cheek as he picked up the mix of French, Canadian, and Americans coins the man slid across the counter and put it in the cash register. “Uncle, Lavender and two cups of jasmine,” he yelled through the partition. When he turned back the front, the man was leaning back in a chair near the front window. He tossed a lazy smirk at Zuko, a piece of wheat dangled between his lips. Zuko scowled. The man mimed despair and Zuko bit back a laugh._

“Zuko, pay attention, you’re gonna fall off your horse,” Jet said, dragging Zuko out of his memory. 

“What? Oh, right.” He huffed. He readjusted his grip on the reins and looked at the orange rock that surrounded them. The slot canyons were an unnecessary detour on their way back up north, but the perilous terrain was an interesting and fun ride and the four of them were always up for a challenge. Zuko tried to keep his focus on the ground under him, but the echoing of hooves and the even rock of the saddle lulled him back into his daydreams. 

_Zuko almost jumped out of his skin when a voice sounded from the shadows. “Hey darlin, nice scar.” The man from earlier leaned against the door frame._

_“Don’t call me that.” Zuko returned his attention to locking the door to the tea shop. “What do you want?”_

_“What’s your name?” The man asked. Zuko gritted his teeth but didn’t respond. He didn’t want to look at the man who was leering over him. He figured the smirk from earlier was still plastered on his face. “I’m Jet.”_

_“Zuko.”_

_“You make an excellent lavender tea,” he said._

_“I don’t make the tea. My uncle does,” he replied. “I’ll pass on the comment.”_

_“So, you read Walt Whitman*?” Zuko’s eyes went wide. He slammed a fist into the door and turned to look at Jet._

_“Where did you hear that?” Zuko growled._

_“I didn’t, I was simply asking,” Jet said in a placating tone. “Should I take that as a yes?”_

_“Please leave me alone.” A quiver slipped into his voice. “I don’t want any trouble.” He slipped his hand into his coat and closed it around the hilt of a throwing knife._

_“I’m not here to give you trouble, sweetheart,” Jet reached out to touch Zuko’s jaw. Zuko stiffened, but didn’t pull away from the touch. He was too lost in the warmth of Jet’s calloused fingers resting against his jaw. “Oh, that_ was _a yes,” Jet whispered._

_“N-no, please.” Zuko said, finally pulling away from Jet’s touch. “Don’t tell anyone.”_

_“I wasn’t sure when I first saw you, but I am now.” He leaned in close to Zuko’s ear. “You’re the Blue Spirit.”_

_“What? No, no, I’m not. I work in a tea shop,” Zuko said._

_“You’re holding a knife in your pocket and you have a pair of sharpened dao on your wall,” he said. “And you’re a bad liar.”_

_“What do you want?” Zuko hissed._

_“I’m interested in your abilities,” Jet said. “Someone who can sneak and steal like you is right at home in my little group.”_

_“What group?” Zuko asked._

_“The Freedom Fighters,” Jet replied, his face serious. Zuko almost laughed._

_“Freedom from what?” Zuko said._

_“Please, you’re Asian, you should know what I’m talking about.”_

_“What, you kill racists?”_

_“Not just racists and we don’t kill them. More theft and blackmail,” Jet said. “Sound like your cup of tea?” He rapped his knuckles on the tea shop door._

_“No,” Zuko said, but his heart raced. The idea of making the numerous people who hated him just because he was Japanese pay wasn’t the worst he’d ever heard._

_“I’m staying at the Regency for the rest of the week, darlin, stop by if you change your mind,” he said. Jet ran his fingers through Zuko’s hair. Zuko chewed the inside of his cheek. Jet smirked one more time before turning down the dark streets. Zuko watched him go, thoroughly confused by their interaction._

_“_ Where the Hell are you going,” Jet yelled. Zuko pulled Jasmine’s reins when he realized the other three had halted a few meters back. He dismounted and led her back to the group. Jet ruffled his hair when he reached them. “We’re stopping for lunch. Are you okay, sweetheart?” 

“Yeah, just tired, I guess,” Zuko mumbled. He wrapped his arms around Jet’s waist and rested his forehead on his shoulder. Jet rested his arms on Zuko’s shoulders. _I love him_ , Zuko thought to himself. _I should tell him that, shouldn’t I. But I don’t know if he loves me. What if he doesn’t? What if he just likes fucking me. What he just recruited me for my sword skills after all? Sure it’s been nearly two years but what if I was wrong?_ Zuko was torn from his downward spiral by a bag hitting him in the shoulder. He disentangled himself from Jet and bent down to pick it up. Inside was a mix of dried meat, nuts, and dried fruit. He dug into the meager lunch, happy to have a distraction from his own thoughts. Jet hooked an arm around Zuko’s shoulder as he too dug into his lunch. 

“Ready to get back home, Zu?” Jet asked.

“More than anything. I miss the view,” he said. He looked up through the opening in the canyon at the bright blue sky. “I miss fighting.” 

“Yeah, well we can’t be wanted everywhere we go.” Jet ran his hands over the hilt of his shuang gou. He pulled the blades out of his belt and looked down the flat of the blade. He took out a cloth and wiped the dust off of them. Zuko stood and walked over to Jasmine. He pulled his dao out of the saddle and checked for nicks on the blades. Then he made sure the leather that covered the hilt was secure. 

“Care to spar?” He side eyed Jet. The light reflected off of the shuang gou, casting a beam of white light on the walls of the cavern. 

“I’m gonna kill you, sweetheart,” he joked. 

“I’d like to see you try, pretty thing.” Zuko snarled playfully. Jet stood and turned to face him. Zuko backed away from Jasmine. Jet leaped at Zuko. He tried to hook his blades around Zuko’s, but Zuko twisted, keeping his swords free. Zuko brought his sword across Jet’s chest, clipping one of the buttons on his shirt. The other blade followed and hit Jet in the shoulder with the flat side. Jet hissed and he swiped one of his hooks under Zuko’s arm, hooking his shirt, tearing a hole in the cotton. “Fuck you, this is a good shirt,” he growled. He threaded his blades through one of the hooks and jerked it toward him. Jet stumbled forward. 

“You’d look better without it, darlin’,” Jet said. He hooked a blade around the back of Zuko’s leg and he pulled. Zuko fell back, stumbling to get his footing on the rocky terrain. 

“Bastard,” he hissed. The clang of metal against metal and the scuffling of boots echoed through the cavern as they sparred. Zuko played defense for most of it. He blocked and parried Jet’s strikes, twisting and ducking out of reach. Jet finally managed to hook one of the hilts of the dao and pull it out of Zuko’s left hand. Zuko smirked. 

“Why are you smiling, I just took your good sword?” 

“I’m right handed, jackass.” Zuko brought the flat of his blade down hard on Jet’s knuckles, causing him to drop one of his swords. He kicked it out of reach. Then he kicked Jet in the chest, sending him careening backwards. He dropped the sword when he hit the ground. Zuko pulled him to his knees by the shirt collar and hit the pummel of his swords across Jet’s face harder than strictly necessary. Blood sprayed from Jet’s mouth and Zuko quickly dropped his sword. 

“Shit, Zuko. What was that for?” He held his cheek, blood seeped from the corner of his lips. 

“I’m so sorry!” He knelt down in front of Jet. “I didn’t mean to hit you that hard.” He cradled Jet’s jaw in his hands. He swiped the blood from his chin and kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it was clever.” Jet smirked and leaned up to kiss him. Zuko smiled into the kiss. They picked up their swords and walked back over to Smellerbee and Longshot. 

“You guys really need to learn how to use a gun.” Smellerbee pulled one of her revolvers out of her belt. The gun clicked as she opened the chamber and reloaded. She snapped her wrist, locking the chamber. “None of this bullshit.” She gestured at the swords with the barrel of her gun. “Too much training and upkeep.” 

“Yeah, but swordfighting is so much sexier.” Jet smirked and slapped Zuko’s ass. 

“You’re an idiot.” Zuko smiled. He hooked Jet’s neck in his elbow and ruffled his hand in his hair. 

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot,” Jet smiled. He pressed a kiss to Zuko’s cheek. 

“You guys are so gross.” Bee rolled her eyes. “I shoulda stayed in El Paso.” She scratched her mare’s jaw. “Ain’t that right, Oma.” The horse knickered in response. She swung up into her saddle. “Let’s hit the trail, bastards. I want to go home.” The other three followed her lead. 

“Zu, are you sure you’re okay to ride?” Jet looked at him, his eyes clouded with worry. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, Jet.” He smiled reassuringly. He pulled Jasmine up to Tàiyáng’s flank and cupped the back of Jet’s neck with his hand. He leaned in and kissed him. “Don’t worry about me.” Jet placed his hand over Zuko’s and twined their fingers together 

“I’m always gonna worry about you, sweetheart.” He squeezed Zuko’s hand. Zuko let their hands fall between them and he pulled Jet into another kiss. 

“Let’s go, queers.” Bee yelled. 

“Sorry, Bee.” Jet dropped Zuko’s hand and spurred Tàiyáng to catch up with her. Zuko looked at Longshot, who gave him a little shrug. “C’mon you two.” Jet yelled over his shoulder. The group slowly picked their way out of the slot canyons. They were back in the desert. Zuko pulled Jasmine to a stop and shed his Inverness coat**. Jet rolled up his shirtsleeves. Smellerbee removed her blouse and shoved it into her saddlebags, leaving her corset and combinations*** exposed. Zuko averted his eyes, despite knowing the curves that filled her corset were manufactured by padding and goose feathers. They started their long trek through the New Mexico desert. Jet spurred his horse into a gallop and the other three followed suit. 

The sun was low in the sky when they stopped to make camp. Zuko removed Jasmine’s tack and tied her to a nearby branch. Jet tied his horse next to Zuko’s and set his saddle a few yards away. He unrolled his bedroll and sat down on it. “Darlin, c’mere,” he reached out for Zuko. 

“I have to unpack, love.” He tucked a strand of hair behind Jet’s ear. “Do you want a tent or are we sleeping under the stars?” 

“Stars.” He caught Zuko’s wrist and kissed his palm. 

“Alright, darling.” He dropped his saddle next to Jet’s and unrolled his blankets. He sat knee to knee with Jet. He leaned in and kissed Jet. He wrapped his arms around Jet’s neck and leaned on his shoulder. He watched Longshot and Smellerbee set up their tent. 

“Do you two want to start a fire?” Bee said.

“Do we have to?” Jet muttered. 

“I don’t care. I’m not the one sleeping out in the open,” she said. Her and Longshot ducked into the tent. Zuko pressed his lips to Jet’s neck. Jet cocked his head to give Zuko more access to his soft skin. 

“Zu…” Jet breathed. He rested his hands on Zuko’s hips and pulled him into his lap. Zuko buried his face in Jet’s neck and inhaled his scent. He smiled like sand and sweat, a far cry from his usual scent of pine trees and cool mountain air. Jet slid his hand up Zuko’s back, trying to touch as much of him as he could. 

“I love you,” Zuko whispered. Jet’s hands stopped moving and his body went stiff. _This was it. I’ve crossed the line. He’s gonna leave me in the desert._ Zuko thought and chewed the inside of his cheek. 

“Y-you do?” Jet said. Zuko nodded. “O-oh,” he breathed. “I love you too, Zuko.” Zuko lifted his head out of Jet’s neck and kissed him. “I love you,” he whispered when he pulled away, their foreheads still pressed together. Zuko smiled and kissed Jet again. He turned and lay back, resting his head on his saddle. Jet wrapped his arms around his waist and nuzzled his neck. Zuko rested his chin on Jet’s head and hugged his chest. He stared up at the stars that were beginning to appear. Zuko kissed the top of Jet’s head. They heard soft noises from the tent a few yards away. The noises turned to soft moans and the two men cracked up. 

“Is that what we’re like?” Zuko chuckled. 

“No, we’re worse. You don’t know how to shut up when I’m fucking you.” Jet smirked. 

“Please, you don’t know how to shut up ever.” Zuko rolled his eyes. 

“You love it,” Jet said.

“You bet your ass I do,” Zuko said. “I love you, Jet.” 

“I love you too, Zu.” Jet pressed closer to Zuko’s warm body and the two fell into a comfortable silence. Occasionally they exchanged a look when their friends got especially loud. Jet’s eyes slipped shut and Zuko fell back into his past. 

_Zuko wiped the ashes of the Jasmine Dragon on his burned haori feverishly. Tears and blood streaked the soot on his undamaged cheek. His hands hurt. His jaw ached. His head pounded. His lungs burned. He glanced down the alley at the inferno he created and his lip quivered. He sprinted away from the burning tea shop, down the darkened streets of Denver. Tears blurred his good eye, rendering him almost completely sightless. He didn’t notice the three men standing in the alley and he ran straight into them._

_“The Hell do you think you’re doing,” the tallest one asked. “Chinese bastard,” he muttered. Zuko wiped his eye and drew himself up to his full height._

_“I’m Japanese.” He reached into his haori and grabbed his throwing knife. He slipped it up his sleeve, ready for another fight._

_“What’s the difference?” The man said mockingly. The two men behind him added a few slurs to the mix. Zuko clenched his jaw._

_“Look, I don’t want any trouble. Just let me go.” Zuko held his hands up defensively._

_“If you people didn’t want trouble, you shouldn’ta come here.” The man stepped closer to him._

_“I was born here,” Zuko replied. The man took another step toward him. He was almost in range. Zuko searched for some more goading words, thinking about what Azula would say. “Just like you.” The man lunged at him. Zuko sidestepped at the last possible moment and the man fell to the ground. Zuko stepped on the back of his head, grinding his face into the dirt, not letting up until the dirt below him was dark with blood. One of the other men charged at him. He let the knife fly out of his sleeve, hitting the man in the gut. He grabbed at the blade that sunk into his stomach, blood quickly stained his shirt. The third man looked at him in horror. Zuko bared his teeth, using the blood seeping into his mouth from his split lip to his advantage. The man turned and ran down the alley. Zuko pulled his knife out of the man’s stomach, wiped it off on his pants, and spirited away. He didn’t know where he was going until he found himself in front of the Regency Inn. He looked over his shoulder to see if anyone had followed him. He wasn’t going to find Jet. That’s not why he was here. It was just far away from the tea shop and the men who he attacked. He removed his apron and wrapped it around his shoulders. He turned into the alley of the Regency and quickly scaled the building. He let his legs dangle over the side of the roof and considered sliding off of it. He could still see the plume of smoke coming from his uncle’s tea shop. His hands shook violently as he tried to cut a piece of fabric off his apron, but he only managed to cut his finger. He sucked on his thumb tasting iron and ash. He scooted to sit on a flat plane of the roof and laid on his back, looking up at the stars. He quickly dozed off._

_He was woken later by a loud crack of thunder. “Shit,” he mumbled. He pulled his apron over his head, bracing for the oncoming rain. He didn’t move from his spot on the roof as the sky opened and torrents of rain poured down on him. “Yes sure, why not, rain. Add that to this wonderful evening I’ve been having. Don’t hold back now! Strike me down, oh Great Spirits! Fucking kill me. I’m done. I’ve burned all my bridges now!” He screamed at the sky. He broke down in sobs, his head dropping between his knees. His whole body shook violently as he cried. His throat was sore and he was cold. He was so cold. When his sobs died down, his body shivered._

_He looked up when a hand rested on his shoulder, stopping all motion. “Howdy,” A familiar voice said. Zuko turned to squint at Jet through the rain. “Want to come inside?” He smiled softly._

_“How did you find me?”_

_“Someone was screaming to God on the floor above me, just figured I’d check it out.” Jet helped him to his feet and led him through a trapdoor on the roof down to a hallway. A dry hallway. Jet led him to his room where his companions from the previous day played poker. “Zuko, this is Longshot and Smellerbee, Longshot, Bee, this is Zuko.”_

_“He worked at the tea shop right?” Smellerbee quirked an eyebrow. “The Blue Spirit?” Zuko nodded lightly. Longshot nodded back._

_“C’mon, darlin’, let’s get you some fresh clothes.” Jet pulled Zuko to a bed and dug around in a bag. He handed Zuko a pair of blue cotton pants and a white linen shirt. “If you want privacy you can change in there.” He pointed at a closet._

_“Thank you,” Zuko murmured. He went into the closet and changed out of his sopping haori and yukata. He ran his fingers over the bruises that bloomed across his torso. He winced when he pressed a particularly bad one. He pulled on the dry clothes that Jet gave him and was happy to not be chilled to the bone anymore. He stepped out of the closet and stood off to the side, awkwardly watching the other three play poker. Jet noticed Zuko and waved him over._

_“Hang your shit on the radiator and join us for a game,” Jet said. Zuko carefully draped his clothes on the small radiator and sat next to Jet._

_“So, Blue Spirit, how’d you end up working in a tea shop?” Smellerbee asked. They carded a hand through their shoulder length hair._

_“It’s my uncle’s shop,” he said. Zuko watched the cards fall through Jet’s fingers as he shuffled. “Are you a girl or a boy?” He asked._

_“I’m a girl.”_

_“Ok,” Zuko said. Jet delt the cards. Zuko had no idea what to do with the king, ace, two, and pair of sevens in his hands, but ended up winning the round._

_“Beginners luck,” Jet chuckled. Zuko won the next few rounds as well, using some less than legal techniques Iroh had taught him during their many pai sho games. At the end of one round, Jet grabbed Zuko’s wrist and pulled it toward him. He examined his bloodied knuckles. “Did ya get into a fight?” He stood up and led Zuko over to a vanity mirror and filled a wash basin with water. Zuko sat down and Jet knelt in front of him._

_“Yeah,” Zuko replied. Jet reached up and pressed his finger against a bruise on Zuko’s jaw. Zuko winced._

_“Sorry, sorry.” He pulled his hand away. He dipped a rag into the water and gently ran it over the split skin on Zuko’s knuckles. Jet’s tongue poked out from between his lips as he washed the blood and soot off Zuko’s hands. Then he shifted so he could wash Zuko’s scarred cheek. Zuko couldn’t help it when his jaw fell slack, letting out a soft sigh as the soft cotton cleaned out the grooves and holes in the scar. When Jet finished, Zuko snapped his mouth shut and nodded curtly. He took a roll of bandages off the vanity and wrapped it around his knuckles and the cut on his thumb._

_“Thank you,” Zuko said. “You didn’t have to do that.”_

_“I wanted to.” Jet smiled._

“What are you thinking about?” Jet rested a hand on Zuko’s scared jaw. 

“When I joined you,” Zuko said. 

“Ah, that fateful night.” Jet smiled and leaned to kiss Zuko. “You never told me why you were on that roof.”

“Right, I got into a fight at my uncle’s tea shop and I knocked over a few gas lamps. The whole place was made of wood so it went up pretty quick. I ruined his business, his life. Fuck, I nearly killed him. I had to run back into the fire to save him,” Zuko said. “He probably hates me.” His voice cracked a little. The idea of his uncle hating him was one of the worst thoughts possible. The man practically raised him and Zuko just... ran away at his lowest moment. He swallowed back the lump in his throat. Jet sat up and looked at Zuko. 

“Whoa, he’s your uncle, I’m sure he still loves you. Besides you saved him right? And you said it was an accident. It’s been almost two years, he probably misses you,” Jet said. 

“Maybe,” Zuko said, unconvinced. 

“Sweetheart, when we get back to Denver, we’re gonna find your uncle and we’re gonna make amends.” Jet smiled. 

“Okay,” Zuko grumbled. 

“Good. Your uncle seems like an interesting guy, I think I’d like him,” Jet said. 

“Yeah, I miss him.” Zuko smiled. Jet flopped back onto him. 

“Alright, now, go to sleep.” Jet held Zuko tighter and kissed his cheek. 

“Good night, love,” Zuko said. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko sees Iroh again after almost two years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-past suicide attempt  
> follow me on tumblr [here](https://marvelousrats.tumblr.com/) and instagram [here](https://www.instagram.com/thepoormediocreartist/) for some really cool art.   
> Thank you sooo much for all the comments on the last chapter! I love reading them :-)

Zuko massaged his shoulder and the four of them rode into Santa Fe, regretting sleeping on the hard desert earth. He tied up Jasmine and let Jet lead him into a nearby inn. Zuko fell into bed with tender kisses and soft touches. He lay awake in Jet’s arms, thinking about what he said about Iroh. Did Iroh want to see him again? Probably not. However, Zuko wanted to see him again. He needed to see Iroh again. He missed his jasmine tea. Zuko clenched his teeth and rubbed his good eye. He pressed a kiss to Jet’s bare chest. “I love you,” he whispered, though Jet was already fast asleep. He ran a hand over his abs, then over the long scar that marred his lean abdomen. He curled closer to Jet and kissed his neck, then his jaw, finally the corner of his mouth. Jet’s lip quirked, revealing himself to be conscious. He opened one eye to look at Zuko. 

“What are you, a queer?” He teased and kissed Zuko. Zuko smiled and dug his nails into Jet’s abdomen. 

“What’s it to you, love?” He buried his nose in Jet’s neck.

“Everything, darlin’.” He ran his hand up Zuko’s spine. 

“Are we really going to go find my uncle when we get back to Colorado?” Zuko asked.

“Of course, sweetheart, if that’s what you want.” He carded a hand through Zuko’s hair. “When did your hair get so long.” When he pulled his hand away Zuko’s hair fell over his forehead and brushed his eyebrow. “It looks pretty.” 

“I was going to cut it when we got home. Should I leave it?” He ran his own hand through his hair. 

Jet nodded. “It’s gorgeous, Zu.” He kissed Zuko. “You’re gorgeous.” He ran his fingers along Zuko’s scar. “I love you.”

“You’re such a sap.” He grinned and kissed Jet. Jet tightened his grip on his bare waist, pulling their naked bodies flush under the cotton quilt. He kissed Jet’s neck, soft and purposefully. He let Jet climb on top of him and worship every part of his body. He quite didn’t believe him, but it felt good nonetheless. Jet kissed his myriad of scars, on his chest, on his arms, on his hands. Zuko flinched when Jet ran his thumb across the scars on his wrists. He remembered waking up to Jet stitching them shut. His throwing knife disappeared for a while after that, so did the gun that Jet gave him, and anything else that Zuko could use to hurt himself. Zuko’s eye filled with tears and he choked out a sob. Jet stopped kissing Zuko’s abs. 

“Zu, what’s wrong?” His eyes filled with worry. 

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done th-that to you.” He rubbed his good eye. 

“Done what to me, my love?” Jet’s eyebrows creased. 

“Tried to k-k-k-k,” but he couldn’t finish the sentence. Jet eyes went wide with understanding. He pulled Zuko into a tight hug.

“Oh my love, darlin, sweetheart, Zuko,” he murmured into Zuko’s neck. “It’s okay, you did what you thought was right at the time. Besides, you survived. You’re stronger than yourself, you’re stronger than your father. Fuck, my love, you’re stronger than me.” 

“I’m not, I’m so weak. I ran away from home, from my uncle, from life.” Zuko curled his arms around Jet’s chest. “I’m a disgrace,” he muttered. 

“Nononono, Zuko, no. You’re not. You are honorable and strong.” He cradled Zuko’s cheek and kissed his forehead. He leaned Zuko back and held him tight to his chest. “You don’t need forgiveness for trying to have some control over your life, sweetheart.” Zuko let tears run down his cheek and Jet carded his fingers through his hair. Jet’s breathing slowed and deepened as sleep overtook him. Zuko’s eyes finally dried and he too was lulled to sleep. 

~*~

Zuko was practically hyperventilating when the four of them rode up to the doors of the Jasmine Dragon. Jet had to tie up Jasmine so Zuko could collect his thoughts and retch into a bucket. “Are you okay, darlin’?” Jet frowned and ruffled Zuko’s hair. Zuko smiled weakly and tapped Jet’s stomach. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 

“I have to,” Zuko rasped. “I need to apologize.” He straightened himself out and ran a hand through his hair. Jet cradled his cheek and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. 

“Good luck, sweetheart.” He smiled. 

“Thanks, I’ll need it.” He pulled away from Jet and walked into the tea shop. His hands shook as he approached the counter. A girl that was a few years younger than him was standing behind it. 

“How can I help you?” She asked, not looking up at him. Zuko realized it was because her eyes were clouded with blindness. 

“I’m looking for Iroh?” He said. 

“Why?” She frowned.

“I’m- I’m his nephew,” Zuko stuttered.

“Oh, Zuko right?” She finally looked up at him. 

Zuko nodded, pointlessly. “Uh, yeah.”

“C’mon, he’s upstairs.” She motioned for him to follow her into the back. She led him up a flight of stairs that hadn’t been there before Zuko burned it down. “He’s in there. Tell him we’re out of earl grey.” She gestured at a door. 

“Uh, thank you,” he said. She shrugged and went back down the stairs. Zuko knocked before opening the door. “Uncle?” Iroh was meditating with his back to the door, but his posture stiffened when he heard Zuko’s voice. “Uncle I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I left. I’m sorry I burned down your tea shop. I was wrong. I was so wrong. I’m sorry.” He felt tears roll down his cheek. Iroh turned around and pulled Zuko into a hug. 

“I forgive you, nephew. Life is too short to hold grudges against the ones you love,” Iroh said. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you, too.” Zuko cried into his uncle’s shoulder. Zuko pulled back and wiped his eyes. 

“Where have you been, Nephew?” Iroh smiled, also wiping tears from his eyes. 

“Uh, about that,” Zuko grimaced. “Y’know the Blue Spirit?” He scratched the back of his neck. Iroh nodded. “That’s me.” He smiled awkwardly. Iroh raised his eyebrows.

“I know,” he said. 

“What?” Zuko furrowed his brow.

“I’ve known for years, Zuko,” Iroh smiled. “I found the mask you used to use, I think the bandana is an improvement.” He ruffled Zuko’s hair. “So is the hair.” Zuko smiled, still a little shocked. 

“Th-thanks, uncle,” he said. “Um, the girl at the counter says you’re out of earl grey. Is she really blind?”

“Yes, that’s Toph,” he said. “Come, nephew. How have you been?” The two men stood up and started walking back downstairs.

“Pretty good. I’ve made some friends, I-I met someone.” He blushed softly. 

“Oh, Zuko, I’m so happy for you. What’s her name?” Iroh grinned and hugged him again. Zuko bit the inside of his cheek. Iroh knew the story behind his scar, but admitting to being in a relationship with a man was very different than having one’s face burned off for kissing another boy in an alleyway. 

“About that.” He stopped walking and looked at the floor. “He’s a man. H-his name is Jet.” He crossed his arms and clenched his jaw, preparing for the worst. 

Iroh didn’t say anything for a moment, but finally asked, “Does he make you happy?” Zuko nodded. Iroh hugged him again. “Then I’m happy.” Zuko couldn’t stop himself from crying again. He shook in his uncle’s arms, finally faced with the fact that Iroh loved him unconditionally. 

“Thank you, Uncle.” He smiled. “D-do you want to meet him?” 

“I would love to.” He smiled back. The two walked down the stairs and into the tea shop seating area, where Jet, Longshot, and Bee were drinking tea and talking to Toph. 

“Zuko!” Jet grinned when he saw his lover. “I take it everything went well?” 

“Yeah, this is my Uncle Iroh, Uncle, Jet.” He gestured between the two. Jet stood up.

“Nice to meet you, Jet.” He shook Jet’s hand. 

“Zuko has told me all about you,” Jet said. “The tea is really good by the way.” 

“Thank you, Jet.” Iroh smiled. “And thank you for bringing him home.” 

“Yeah, well, we can’t stay too long. We may or may not be wanted criminals.” Jet smirked. 

“At least stay for the night,” Iroh said. “You can stay in Zuko’s old room and we have a guest room.” 

“Of course, Uncle.” Zuko smiled. 

“Well, I suppose I have to make more earl grey. Nephew, there are some leftover noodles upstairs and I think a few tea cakes if you want them.” Iroh nudged him. “It’s good to see you again, nephew.” Zuko smiled as Iroh left the four of them. 

“C’mon, I’m going to start crying and I would prefer to not do it in front of everyone in here.” Zuko said through clenched teeth. He grabbed Jet’s hand. They walked through the back and up the stairs. Zuko finally broke down again when they got into the kitchen. 

“Are these happy tears?” Jet rubbed Zuko’s back. Zuko nodded and smiled. Jet smiled back and kissed Zuko’s temple. “Good. I’m glad you’re happy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 35 pages of Cowboy Jetko fanfiction on my google docs rn so expect more :-) I'm just a lil busy writing some dragon!Zuko shit, so look out for that.

**Author's Note:**

> Also if you know know how to add images to fics, PLEASE let me know. Thank you in advance.  
> *reading Walt Whitman was sometimes used as code for being gay/ bi in the wild west and I am SUCH a SUCKER for codes.  
> **It’s like the classique Sherlock Holmes coat. They are the best coats ever, go look them up.  
> ***It’s like a romper but underwear. Honestly go check this out too because they were cute af. They were developed in the later part of the 19th century and basically merged the idea of drawers and the chemise.


End file.
